SHAKES DINKY SALT CELLAR VIGOROUSLY OVER POT OF HOT WATER. LID FALLS OFF MID-VIGOROUS SHAKING. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU ARE THE BRAND NEW OWNER OF EXTREMELY SALTY HOT WATER ( Read more... )

re traumatising sazzlette's new housemate:

wanttobeatree: omg I want her to look at the velociraptor's tiny penis
sazzlette: ALKSKDLFL
wanttobeatree: WHICH IS NOT A SENTENCE I EVER THOUGHT I'D SAY ( Read more... )

recipe: add crushed garlic
wanttobeatree: i♥ garlic! --wait, how do I crush it?
wanttobeatre: ... do I hit it with a spoon?
garlic: *hit with spoon*
wanttobeatree: ...
wanttobeatree: okay, not the spoon, then.
garlic: *sliced*
garlic: *HIT WITH SPOON*
garlic: *knived*
garlic: *... pestled, dammit*
wanttobeatre: :|
garlic: :D?
wanttobeatree: OH WE ( Read more... )

LOL I am cooking for my famblee tonight. My mum has decided, in a strangely game show-esque way, that it is time for me to fulfil my destiny or something. So I've got to buy the ingredients and be MONEY CONSCIOUS and it's all doomed for failure. I can't even decide whether to do a spicy sausage pasta or Moroccan fish. FAILURE. DOOMED FOR ( Read more... )